Sanctuary

Well today is my first blog in awhile. Anyway Chinese New Year started, and that is supposed to be a merry, happy, festive time, right? Well if it is . . . Why do I feel so sad? Today I left California, San Fransisco to be exact. I realized a lot of things while I left. I would actually miss my father. Which is actually pretty strange, considering the fact that he abandons me a lot. Sometimes I feel like I don't exist to him. Like today. We started out pretty bad. But then he did something that made me feel pretty regretful on how I treated him. But now that regret has been chipped to pieces, shattered, washed away. I am back home. But the thing is I can't wait to go to school tomorrow. Now that may seem kind of strange. But, you know how your home is supposed to be your sanctuary? Well mine isn't. Believe it or not it is my school. There I can clear my mind, and not have to think about all the troubles on the home front. For example the reason why my regret has been swept away by the wind is because my father kept something so BIG away from me. My uncle has arrived in America. Just hours after I left San Fransisco. He is staying for a month and my dad- my loathed, hated, lying, scheming, terrible father- kept that away from me. I am really hurt because I didn't know that, and I never get to stay that long with him. NEVER. Anyway, school is my only sanctuary, I wish that I can come home and have my troubles washed away like my regret today. But that can never happen, not even in my sanctuary. Where I still have so many worries. Homework, grades, projects, the list is endless. But there I put on a facade, I pretend to be the girl that I want to be, which I know deep down inside I might never truly be. I pretend like I don't have any worries, sorrows. I act like school is a breeze. Which it is compared to what I have waiting for me at home. So that is the end of my day. If anyone is reading this please know that I appreciate a view. Knowing that I am not doing this for nothing. Just leave a comment at the least, please?